So, it is with great amounts of resistance that i decided to attend foc. i hope that by doing this, i appear bold, courageaous, daring and valiant, that i can be willing to move outside of my comfort zone inspite of my discomfort with the very notion of ‘orientation.’ pfft.

i can’t bail myself out if things go horribly wrong (for example, being discrimintated for my lack of rara-ness, which happened in vj o1 anyways), because what is worse than not attending foc, is being remembered by half the faculty as “the guy who left.” it is therefore, in poker terms, an ‘all in.’ unless of course, the situation gets so bad, that i cannot care less.

it is thus, with such precarious circumstances, that i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, armed with nothing but my ipod, a book and maybe denys, if he decides to not abandon me to relieve his ogl days with his group (somehow, that image appears more and more likely each time  i think about it.) and begin repacking my bags, just shortly after returning to the country.

at this point, attending foc makes me feel like a fish out of water, and also where there’s   nearby lair of 40 hungry cats. i’m really not too sure what i’m doing, but i have some small hope that things will work out.

~ by moz on July 13, 2009.